Power Rankings: Week 6
Admit it. You missed me. Fantasy football (life) just isn’t the same without my eloquent wordplay. You’re obsessed with me!
Welcome to the bizarro world. Devon and Kyle - yes, Devon and Kyle - are atop the charts, and three former champs are doing their best caboose impression. The injuries are piling up, good teams are separating themselves from the bad - and we’ve only seen one trade?? C’mon. Live a little!
Henry (4-2)
Last Week: 2nd
Banged up, and winning ball games. The Sensible Kings just don’t give a damn. Bijan is more than living up to expectations, Ladd & Tet are coming into form, all while Lamar and Slick Rick are nursing wounds. Judkins may have been accused of assault, but he should have been tried for grand larceny because he’s been an absolute steal. When healthy, there isn’t a better lineup out there.
Devon (5-1)
Last Week: 1st
Disregard what I said earlier, this might be the best lineup out there. Stars up and down the roster, and plenty of depth to turn to. If the season ended today, Baker is the NFL MVP and Puka is the OPOY. What else needs to be said? Oh, and Kittles’N’Bits is back. After a long sabbatical, De’Von is back in a big way. Three-four more wins, and you’re back in the playoffs for the first time in the post-pandemic era!
Kyle (5-1)
Last Week: 6th
James Conner - Out. CeeDee Lamb - Out. Egbuka - Out. Omarion Hampton - Out. What sort of deal did you make with the devil to keep yourself atop the standings? You’ve bought yourself plenty of time to heal up while keeping yourself squarely in the mix for a first round bye. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in years, Kyle is not only relevant - he’s good.
Brad (3-3)
Last Week: 4th
Here’s Brad’s recipe for success. Draft absurdly well, and then do next to nothing. Not one for trades or making waves on the waiver waiver, Bradley relies on his pre-draft intellect to carry him the distance. With snags like Drake Maye and JK Dobbins, how can you blame the guy? But with Brock Bowers still banged up, a brutal slate of BYEs on deck, and an elite opponent coming your way - Week 7 could be trickier than holding in a toot during downward dog. Don’t let it sneak out!
Pete (3-3)
Last Week: 5th
I really appreciate you calling me out in GLOAT the other night! Super constructive! My lack of posts this season certainly hasn’t been on my mind at all. Definitely not feeling guilty about letting everyone down. I’m fortunate that so many others have been willing to step up and fill in for me to keep this league intact.
Your team is good. That’s the only analysis you get this week. Sorry… what was that?… I didn’t hear you… Bitter?… Me?
Cole (3-3)
Last Week: 3rd
The Commish is making moves. Tired of mediocrity, ay? Forfeiting JSN and Saquon isn’t for the meek or timid, but picking up Nico, Terry, and Jacobs is one heck of a haul. The lineup has more bruises than a ripe peach at the bottom of the barrel. But once they’re healthy…we could be looking at a new championship contender.
Chet & Mike (3-3)
Last Week: 12th
Hear me out. A.J. Brown’s price is never going to be lower than it is right now. He’s a stud. You know it. I know it. He would look so good in your lineup. Last time, you gave me Chris Olave, Rachaad White, and Jaylen Warren - so a package along those lines would be great. This trade is the key to my third championship. Fulfill the prophecy.
Bill’s rise to fantasy stardom has been one hell of a life vest, and the aforementioned White has been a bonafide RB1 with Bucky on the sideline. This roster has playoff potential, but it’s one X factor away from championship aspirations.
Ryan (3-3)
Last Week: 7th
The forecast was gloomy last month, but man, what a difference a week makes. JD is healthy, Jeanty is finally living up to expectations, Brian Thomas is getting hot, and Stefon Diggs rewound the clock to 2022. Hell, even DeAndre Swift is looking like an upper echelon tailback. Times are good in the Mattel household! Club Dread is turning’ the f*ck up.
Bacich & Reese (2-4)
Last Week: 9th
Remember when we were all afraid to draft CMC? I remember. Remember that calf injury he had in the preseason? I remember. Somehow he’s the only 49er who’s managed to stay on the field, and he’s been a walking 20 burger. CMC may be the one making headlines, but Achane is putting up equally impressive numbers. If Reeso and Bacich can squeeze more juice out of Jamerson Williams, or find any semblence of reliability out of the WR position, then the W’s should start to pile up. I mean, hell, this club is projected for 128.
Tom (2-4)
Last Week: 8th
Before the season started, I told myself that I needed to be at 2-4 by the time Rashee Rice returns if I want to have any shot at Ring #3. I’m right where I thought I needed to be, but I didn’t account for A.J. Brown being WR40 and Tee Higgins being WR44. This whole team is ‘whatever’. I’m whatever. Maybe Rashee will drive me back to the playoff hunt. Hopefully he doesn’t ditch the car on the way.
Austin (2-4)
Last Week: 10th
I see you updated the team name. If I can go out on a limb, is it safe to say that the vibes are off in Stainville? Everyone on the roster is “good”, but I’m not so sure than anyone is “great”. Skattebo might take issue with that statement - there certainly isn’t anyone who’s more fun to watch right now than Mr. CTE himself (sorry, AB). Better times may be ahead, but unless Henderson or Harvey turn up the temperature, it’s hard imagine Austin claiming anything other than an engagement ring during this 2025 season.
Case (1-5)
Last Week: 11th
Doctor! Doctor! Get in here! We’ve got a code blue in Room 40! Room fordees nutz in ur mouth. Gotchya! Jokes aside, this team is sinking faster than a lead balloon. Calvin Ridley and Travis Hunter have been unplayable, which means Sterling Shephard and Darnell Mooney have been thrust into the starting lineup. The Bears QB-WR stack is about all that’s going well right now. But hey, crazier things have happened. Rome Odunze wasn’t built in a day.
